Panic! Schoolwork

Well, I've got a bit of a headache and a rather large burden to shoulder. But hey, you get that in your final year of highschool. Year 12.

I'm failing. Literally.

44% average in math

54% in history <-- I thought I was in the 70's

58% in human biology. <-- I thought i was in the 60's

And if I'm passing english lit I'll be -very- surprised. I've got the worst teacher for it, I hate him. And because I do other work while people from my class are doing their orals and things that -they- worked for, things that are still to do with the bloody subject, he hates me.

I don't know what to do, honestly. I mean, I'm trying my hardest but it's just not fucking good enough! Do you know how that feels? When the only thing you enjoy doing as a hobby, doesn't go to the final mark you need, and so when you say to someone that you're improving in that area, they say 'so what? It doesn't contribute to your TER so it doesn't matter.' It matters to -me-, aren't I allowed to have SOMETHING fun in my life?

Oh and another thing, my lit teacher doesn't believe me when I say that I don't have enough time to hand in an oral, which was a team effort, on MONDAY when I'm working all weekend. And I don't say 'all' lightly. 10.30am til 4pm on saturday, 12pm til 9pm on sunday! (that's 1030-1600, and 1200-2100 respectively) I've got exams in four weeks, I'm FAILING most of my fucking classes and no one seems to care or understand!

Parents; You spend too much time on the internet chatting, you should give it up and focus more on your school work.

Teachers; you spend too much time socialising, you should spend more time on schoolwork. <-- they don't believe me when I say that I HAVE NO LIFE.

I go to school. I study, I learn, I come home. I try to relax, I study, I do homework, I go to bed. I wake, repeat unless it's the weekend in which case it's get up, get dressed, go to work. Work all day, come home, relax for an hour MAYBE, start schoolwork, weekend assignments etc.

I'm getting maybe TWO NIGHTS a week in which I can relax, or I do relax, completely, and talk to people on the internet. TWO NIGHTS, oh yay, go the grand total of fucking six hours, at the MOST.

I can't do this any more, I CAN'T. I quit, I fail, I vanish from existence.

Of course, mother dearest is making noises about me -repeating- year 12. I'm like, great, but there's no way I'm doing it here. Not unless you sack my lit teacher. I'm good at english, I love it, I'm a good writer, yet -he- fails me because the way I interpret the text is not the way -he- interpreted it.

I've had it. This is my mental breakdown. I'll start spazzing out in a second, it's not like I haven't had pressure on me or anything, noooooo. 'You need A's to be a doctor' okay, sure, fair enough. 'you need A's or else I'm cutting off the net' yeah. that helps me alot as though this being my final year, the HARDEST year of my academic LIFE wasn't fucking enough!

Consequently, dear reader, and whoever else is stickybeaking and gloating over my fucked up life, I shall most likely -not- be talking to ANYONE on the net. Joy of joys. Mother dearest is blaming them for my grade downfall, great. So, I'll not talk to people, I'll become a reclusive hermit that hisses and hides from crowds for my studying. Whether my grades pick up or not is another story, but that's what'll happen regardless.

You wanna contact me, email me. I'll get to it when I can at school, so go figure.

I've had it...I can't deal with school, with my grades, work AND my fucked up home life. Yet no one can understand this...why? What's wrong with me?