A lesson learned- Lit camp and such. (long)

Day/night 1

I've discovered something rather unusual about the nataure of ego, and ironically, it was on Lit Camp watching Shakespeare in Love.

Those that are told they are 'good', the 'best', 'pure', more often than not become vain, arrogant and proud. So that when told that they are an angel etc-- the Christian personification of good-- they affect humility, bow their heads and smile in thanks, because it is expected of them.

On the other hand, those that are told they are evil, ugly, hag or witch-like, after perhaps the first few times of hurt, it doesn't inflate their ego to the same extent as if it were a 'pure' compliment. 'Purity' and 'goodness' is evidently something to be envious of others possessing, yet being evil seems to -not- be. Why is that, I wonder?

(I'm one of those people that get called 'evil' on a regular basis, I'm quite proud of it actually, of the fact that there are those that don't care to cross me because I am 'evil' ;P)

After all, do not those you call 'evil', strive to be so? Do they not work at earning that name once bestowed with it? But, while calling a soul a 'beauty', something not earnt nor worked for, they grow vain with it, arrogant, complacent. yet the 'evil' souls merely shrug (or grin), say 'meh' or 'i know' but they don't really care, not in the same way that a 'good' person does.

Day 2

Well, after weeks of almose complete silence -- a comment on my blog here or therel-- I get a text message stating somthing along the lines of 'we haven't spoken for a while, not a decent talk, how are you?'

I replied that I was well and the reason we didn't talk more often was that you never reply to your texts.
That got me the prompt assurance that from hereon, such a thing would not happen.

Suffice to say, a grand total of four texts later, two from the each of us, that covered but the pleasantries, and due to training on his part and perhaps shortly after the preparation of dinner for me, but silence reigned.

Thus the 'in depth' and 'good' conversation played out. It's nice to be contacted but, quite franikly, I find offence and dislike that after a comment promising something of a long conversation, a swiftly supplied excuse and a refusal to converse beyond the greeting...well, i'm sure you get my point.

It's just not nice (sorry, I couldn't leave the topic alone, wrote this down on paper shortly after, emotions are such -fun- things to write with) to set foundations of what might be a decent 'catch-up' conversation and then, not ten minutes later, say that you have to go, after which you outright refused to speak of anything more pointed than the blasted weather!

If you just want to assure your morals or whatever that you care, to play the 'friend' role for a few moments that month, but you don't -actually- want to talk, and you then make that abundantly clear-- I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

I hate falsity and liars, I have said this numerous times. Unless you are willing to spend the hour or two it would take to catch up edequately, after expressing that self-same desire, spread that falacy of care over some other sap.

I mean, saying that you've had a rough week and then, when asked or offered a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry one, whatever, say that it's in the past and that you're looking forward to the weekend... just no.

Can anyone understand or see why I'm a mite annoyed or am I just blowing hot air?

Monday (today)

Contrary to how it sounds, I actually enjoyed myself at the camp. When the people in my chalet shut up and let me sleep. I'm a bit dead on my feet. Here's a girl that is usually asleep by 9.30, not -getting- to sleep until it is no longer pm but am, and then waking up before 7am because she can't sleep very well in a foreign bed... Yes. Well, suffice to say my lovely, charming self made herself abundantly present that last day in waking the morons up (they hadn't shut up until 3am, I woke up a 5.45AM) with a lovely, polite, knock on the door (loud enough to wake the people three chalets down...) since we had to get out of there before 7.30am.

So yes, I am not the best of people when I am tired.

Of course, they complained about -me- because I snored (fair enough, I do, and it's loud) but that is something that I CANNOT control, it's unconsious, but them talking at the top of their lungs into the wee hours of the morning is something they CAN control. Just....*snarl* Yes. I am tired. And at school. And having to do three blasted assignments tonight because they're due in a weeks time and and...argh. Maybe I'll recover from having an average of four hours sleep a night after I graduate.

There were funny parts too, we had to give an interpretation of Othello, the groups chose specific scenes and all, and the last one was -funny- as. It was Desdamona's killing scene, and they over dramatised it something cruel. Melodrama, parody. I hurt myself laughing.

Othello has just strangled Desdamona, and she's there lying on the pillows (pillows laid out along the floor = bed) and (s)he's yapping on "And it is Emilia!" Now 'emilia' knocks "Now it is Emilia!" hehehe.

When Iago kills Emilia, she goes to lay next to Desdamona on the bed only there's not enough room (she was laying wonky) so hup! Dead desdamona shifts over XD

And Lodovico is (to Iago) take away his sword-- Iago now takes -out- said sword (it's a spatula, egg slice flippy thing)

Othello belly-stabs Iago with a ladle (big spoon) XD Gets disarmed by Cassio (who is very injured supposedly), says his bit with Iago and Othello over-glaring at each other, glaring, giving the evils from a whole, three inches of distance between their faces.

Othello apologises to Cassio for agreeing to his death and is supposed to take a blade from him for his suicide, only he doesn't, and oh so casually walks around the bed, takes a 'dagger' (a pair of salad tongs, you know, the metal ones?) and hides it behind his back XD

So then Othello says his cut-short suicide speech and lays on Desdamona, who is laughing, and the shoulder bouncing, as they hadn't practised beforehand XD Othello is trying to be dead and there's 'dead' Desdamona, laughing at him.

Very very funny. I rather enjoyed it, hurt myself laughing, but then so did the rest of the class, including the cast XD

Oh, I was also sent after one of the girls, since she was wandering around the rocks and my lit teacher didnt' want her to be alone any more. First I tried to find her, easier said than done when it's cliff faces that aren't flat. -_- But I discovered that I was rather good at tracking things, over shell-studded sand that left like, zippo tracks. I watched her for a bit, waiting patiently for her to notice me, and when she did, she jumped, I did scare her. >_< It was a nice view though.

Another time, I scared the same girl, by walking down the hallway of one of the chalets (little house-like things) and standing, she turns, saw me, and hit her head on the roof. XD

Uhum...what else...

Oh! I bought two books there, I just finished reading one, Kushiels Dart, it's rather good actually. About an anguisette (masochist, very much so) courtesan spy person, intruige, politics, war, prophesy, riddles, sailing ships, blood, fighting, death, sex -- Since the goddess Naamah is the diety of it and whores and the like are priestesses sort of, Servants of Naamah.

I recomend it actually, if you like reading complex storylines where things aren't very easy to follow but you grow into the understanding as the tale continues, as does the character...

Very very nice. A good read. Not many books can move me to tears once, let alone three times, like this one did.

And that I think, shall be the note on which I end this (and the fact that the bells about to go I think), so yeah, two or three days (depends how you count it) of lit camp, and it worked out to be rather ...productive actually.