Yes...yes. My boyfriend of 9 months ...or something like that ...is being broken up with. And I don't know how to do it!
I mean, I like him and all but...we've got next to nothing in common, and the distance and all ... So our conversations, when they happen, have been all 'hi, how was your day?' and he'd talk at me about his day, then, the reverse would happen for me. And...that's pretty much it. With the odd comment about dinner, or his dad or....y'know?
Not exactly the most riveting of things, understandably.
And we talk -at- each other. Not too. I've got nothing to say about what he says, and he's got nothing to say about what I say. We're strangers that know each other slightly well.
I don't want to hurt him, I don't have anyone waiting on the wings or anything, it's just....I'm bored. I don't know. Gah!
I knew that we didn't have much in common, but it wasn't a problem before! now...i don't know why, but it is. He adores me and all -- except at the moment I'm his least favourite person, understandably -- and because of that I don't want to hurt him...but...I don't want him as my boyfriend any more.
Friend is fine, like, a cuddle friend or ...y'know? The protective sort, but not a boyfriend. There's something wrong with me, he's wonderful really, sweet, kind, patient -- god knows he's patient -- and willing and a hard worker and all things that would make a wonderful provider for a family, the sort of loyal, dependable male that most girls are supposed to crave in a male, stability and everything and... I don't want that. I don't know why, but he's not the sort of male that I can see myself living with really. He's just....gah. I don't know. Looking at this I'm like....why am I breaking up? And my reply is that I don't know, but what I -do- know, is that well...it's stagnated. It's gotten flat. All the buzz and bubble popped out while I wasn't looking.
I just...
Don't know what to do.
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2 comments:
It's funny how that, visiting your blog after weeks of absence, I find an entry on the 16th of April about breaking up.
Yesterday, the 16th, was when Bethwyn and I did likewise.
If I may, in my slightly delusional and pain-wrecked state suggest something of a defence on your boyfriend's behalf:
He's done nothing wrong. He's been all he could be. No matter how you tell him, it's going to be unfair. But that's life, and he will in time get over it.
Don't get me wrong, I don't know anything about him. And I know you well enough to believe you know what you want. But if you were any other girl, I'd say that you'd found someone special; a dependable boyfriend is the best kind of all, I think. But you know what you want.
PS: Sweeney Todd is deeply disturbing, magnificent in many senses, and one of my favourite movies. I have had many a song stuck in my head.
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