A couple jokes that I think are good...

Websters Dictionary definition of Windows 95 -

Windows95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that cant stand 1 bit of competition.

Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, Im having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Its blank; it wont accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"Whats a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it wont accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"Its the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when its on?"

"I don't know."

"Well then, look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if its plugged into the wall."

"... ...Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"... ...Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if its plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I cant reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, its not because I dont have the right angle - its because its dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I cant."

"No? Why not?"

"Because theres a power outage."

"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, Im afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ah, you have to love the idiots of society. I bet the caller was all righteous and indignant that the 'words went away' too.

Oh, lets all hear it for working from 3pm until 12.30am. Hip hip hurrah, nine and a half hour shift. No break. Hip hip Hurrah.