You know what sucks? When you are lonely for a specific person, or type of person, or something, but the only people around you that offer you company are needy, clinging, and you have to watch every other word with them?
What sucks even worse is when you find that people you think you would get along really well with, and would mesh well with, they up and vanish without a word as to why. Which makes you think back -- hey, this has happened before -- and since. So you miss the folk that leave, while giving a reason, but those that vanish without a word make you cry and think -- Did I do something wrong? What happened? Did something bad happened? Or did they just get bored and leave? -- and then the clingy people ask why you are sad, so you say, and then they get offended and sulky themselves because you don't care enough about -them- to cry over them, and neither can they help to brighten your mood.
*sighs*
Before this, I was feeling like an object, just ... something to be stared at. Which was what was happening. Alot. And -obviously-. Ick.
Now I feel unwanted. But due to objecthood, I want to feel cherished, wanted as a -person- not as a thing. *sighs*
And I've got my first exam tomorrow, another two next week. Great time for emotional/mental crisis! I have the best timing ever. -_- Not.
~ShaedowDancer~
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3 comments:
Mm, don't stress out too much Ange. The key is to pace it.
I'm sorry if I'm one of the ones that kind of vanishes. I do think about you and miss you! I just wanted to wait until after my exams finished before planning seeing anybody.
When's your last exam? Want to hang out?
You know you -could- always try msn.
Last exam is the ..18th I believe.
I no longer really use MSN, but you're right, that's a good way of keeping in touch.
My last exam is on Tuesday. Mayhap we could catch up Friday onwards? Good luck for your exams this week!
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