First counselling session.(14th June, thursday)

Well….It went…well. I suppose. Mother dearest was icy on the way down of course, but that’s to be expected, and sort of snarky…but meh. It wasn’t what I had expected it to be quite honestly. I had expected to have to sit there, with mother dearest beside me while she spoke to the counsellor and told them all that I didn’t do and all that fruit, and the counsellor would turn to me and ask “Is this true?” Mother dearest would jump in and say “Course it is, I don’t lie.” So I’d shrug and say “Must be. Since if I say anything to the contrary, it’ll just be a lie, since that’s all I can do, isn’t it mother dearest?”

But that didn’t happen! I was dragged along as an afterthought, and I got to speak to the counsellor, Jean, by myself, she went on about confidentiality and such, stuff that she legally has to talk about, I told her about my first attempt and how after asking the school counsellor NOT to call my mother or say anything to her, she called mother dearest anyways so I was a bit…iffy about councillors. She completely understood.

We went through this sheet thing, where she asked me why I wanted counselling I said because I knew I was depressed and even my father knew …you know, stuff like that. And what I hoped to get out of counselling. Heh, that was easy to answer, to be happy, to no longer be depressed or to be actually clinically diagnosed with depression or something, which mother dearest still denies I have.

She said, the counsellor, that if she had a magic wand, what would be three things I would wish for? To be overseas and have my own house, to be self-sufficient and to be happy, where I was and who I was. Heh, maybe, if she fixes up my head, I’ll be able to know how to do it for other people, professional like you know?

After, mother dearest asked how long I was looking at needing therapy for, she said at least 6 months, since mother dearest didn’t want me missing out on school or the like, and they aren’t open on the weekends, although I’m usually working and if I’m not working, she’s sleeping. So instead, next week, I’m getting picked up from school or something along those lines at lunchtime or so since I don’t have any TEE subjects after lunch on that day, Thursday. That’s when my next appointment is. She seemed quite….happy you know? When I told her that I had a blog and that I used it for dealing with the problems that I had, she seemed glad that I had a way of letting it out.

It was…refreshing…to have someone willing to listen, that –wouldn’t- go to my mother and blab, and that was actually willing to see my side of the story, who hasn’t yet been charmed by mother dearest. *shrugs* So yeah….we’ll see how well this works out, won’t we? Oh! I have to pay for the sessions too, thankfully the price is lowered from the $25 a hour to $15, which I can manage to pay on a weekly basis much more easily. Ah well…we’ll see, won’t we?