Victory?

Well, aside from having a seriously sore ass, and my legs are aching, I believe I've won. I mean, I'm part of the family again and all that. I got a lift home last night, even though I was quite willing to ride home at 11.30pm, again. Dog tired, but I would have done it, how else was I to get home hmm?

Yes well, about half an hour after I posted my last, I got ready and left. Mother dearest had no idea where I went or anything of the sort. I actually dropped by some old friends, and my front tire has a leak -_- A fairly major one actually. pump it up, and 15 minutes later it's flat. And that's without riding it!

Figures. *sighs* So, yeah, I need to find the bloody leak, patch my tire, but my mothers bf is willing to help me there. So that's all good. Also, yesterday I dropped by a doctors and got the number for a psychologist. Not sure if I'm actually going to call him and set up an appointment or anything but...*shrugs* yeah.

Lessee...what else...hmm. Not much really, just back into the humdrum of society, studying for my exams...getting a bit worried myself about a couple of my friends, I haven't seen them, no one has seen them, since I was idiotic.

I hope they're okay....


Edited bit, added afterwards coz I was seriously bored.

Okay, so here I am, going back through my previous posts and I've noticed something that no doubt most of you have....very, very, very few of them are actually happy, and stay happy. I honestly don't remember being that sad, I mean, I'm not sad at the moment, but it's not a happy post none the less you know? It's...odd.

And I've noticed something, well, several somethings actually. But it's all to do with one guy, a friend of mine, Xin. I'm not entirely sure how he'll react to this, and I'll most likely be way off but...well. Here goes.

The morning after I posted my goodbye, 'fucking mother', he panicked, literally. Calling quite a few people at 6.30 in the morning, including me, but mother dearest had my phone so he left me a voicemail message. There was a catch in his voice, and since it was the last of things that I reaquainted myself with after getting my phone back, something sort of clicked.

All the time that I've known him, he's been expounding on the value of love, and how wonderful it is, consequently I didn't think too much of it, when he posted a comment on my idiocy and ended it with 'I love you too'. That was the first thing. And then, when I found out how much he'd worried and what he'd done, trying to find out about me and discover if I'm okay, another little piece fell into place.

I texted him when I got my phone back, saying that I was fine and all that...I was still rather down, having been crying all day, as you'll have noticed a couple posts ago. A few texts later, he asked if he could ring me, mobile or landline, I replied mobile since I doubt that mother dearest would let me use the landline. So he called me. Now, let me tell you, this is -very- out of the ordinary. He never calls me, I never call him, we interact more over email (once in a blue moon almost) than text. We spoke for a fair while, and my better spirits I contribute directly to him. I thank you.

Now, what is my epiphany you ask? Aside from the fact that he was very worried and that he cares about me, I.... have the faintest, well, not so faint, that he genuinely loves me. And not in the way a friend would love a friend, even if they are good friends. As I said, the voicemail that I got from him, the last thing I caught up on, was the clincher, and that little catch in his voice... I don't know, and he'll probably hit me for saying this but...how many males, especially teenaged males, cry? Or are even willing to call and leave a message for a perceptive friend, a friend that would (and did) pick up on such a thing in their voice? It's like how Daniel --> Check the friends test, got so high on it... and how he invariably, and usually, picks up on when I'm feeling less than myself, less happy than I usually am not heh. He picks up on the little things about me, I pick up on the little things about almost everyone else. It's...curious.

And won't it be interesting, to see how Xin reacts to my thoughtful ponderings? Knowing him, he most likely will deny it...publicly at least.