Rylia says, "Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pr0n surfed, weak and weary,
over many a strange and spurious site of 'hot xxx galore'.
While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,
and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour,
"'Tis not possible!", I muttered,"Give me back my free hardcore!"
Rylia says, "Quoth the server, 404."
That made me hurt myself laughing. Credit goes to Rylia, and Dianna, and the adult fun-place of textual imaginings known as Shangri-La. But enough about the credit. Now, for a new poem! I haven't been writing as much as I did two years ago, but well, there you have it.
Wish, Wish, Wish.
Wish for a story,
Pray it is true.
Hope they are happy
and love pulled through.
Wish for a memory
of loves first kiss,
hope that it curdled
with a flick of the wrist.
Wish for a dream;
The sky turns red.
Fire on the horizon
mourned by the dead.
Wish for the hope
Where has love gone?
Down the drains of misery,
preyed on by the unbourne.
Hate is the cure,
Pray for the end.
Misery take you,
my long forgotten friend.
Finis.
Just a simple, short thing really. A ten minute bus trip worth of time. :)
~ShaedowDancer~
Wednesday 24 June 2009
Saturday 13 June 2009
Complaints!
I seem to be in a complaining mood today, so I shall complain!
First up: LISTEN, think, pause, reply.
Please, for the love of god, when you are TALKING to someone, LISTEN to what they are saying before you spout out some completely off-tangential question. For example, asking someone if they have anything planned for the evening? 'no', do NOT then ask them what they are DOING in that VERY SAME EVENING. The answer will be 'no'. I mean, dude, seriously, you just ASKED THAT.
Dickhead.
'what are you doing now?' 'watching tv' 'so what are you drawing then?' .........
.... -_-
'I just said that I am watching tv' 'oh sorry. What are you watching?' 'tv'.
Hint: If you are getting the equivalent of a monosyllabic reply that tells you precisely what you asked and not one whit more, odds are THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. And please, with sugar on top, do NOT keep asking questions because the conversation (such as it was) not only died, but is buried and slimy with three months worth of rot! Asking questions of 'so... sup' does NOT constitute having 'anything in common', and that, dear idiots, is REQUIRED for a conversation to even OCCUR.
For petes sake.
Oh, and talking about sex doesn't count. 'yeah, so, I just finished wanking' no. Just... no. Please. DON'T GO THERE. If you are confused, go back to the hint, and read it over. Again. And again. And again. Until you get the hint!
Second complaint: COMMUNICATION.
If you send me an email, and I reply to it. You reply again, and without waiting for me to send one BACK to you, you call me? DONT. For petes sake, what was wrong with the medium being used? It was a way of talking that didn't invade, like a phone call does. I use my phone, pretty much, for emergencies only. What if my mother got into a car accident, had both her legs and her back broken and was unconsious, and the doctors needed the next of kin to come down and give a medical history because she was sort of OUT OF IT, but they couldn't get through because I was stuck talking to some dipstick I didn't like, giving monosyllabic answers until he took the hint and left? For pete's sake people. Pick a medium of communication and STICK WITH IT.
Another thing, if you communicate with someone via a somewhat less than reliable source ie. by writing a comment on my blog to me (I read all of them by the way, as I have to verify and allow them to be posted) do be a dear and CHECK BACK ON IT. Odds are if it is TO me specifically, rather than just a thingy comment, then I WILL reply to it, on my blog. Right below your comment. Asking when something happens is all very well and good, but it doesn't help YOU much if you never look back to see what my answer was!
Gyah!
Third thing: Teasing.
Odds are, if you are reading this then you know me. You know that I have issues with insomnia, and even if you -don't- know of this blog, then you will know of the insomnia anyways! So, with this reminder, do not, please, do NOT call me lazy because I got up at 9.30 in the fricking morning. Odds are I'll have gotten to sleep at FOUR. Who's the lazy one now? You going to bed at 10.30pm and getting up at six. Oohhh... you had to get up at six after a whole EIGHT HOURS SLEEP. I have just gotten FIVE and you call ME lazy?
Oh for pete's sake.
Another thing. I have an eating problem. In the sense that I don't. I eat perhaps ONCE a day. Maybe. And that relies heavily on how much I've drunk (juice, or especially milk) in that day as to whether or not I get hungry. If I am not hungry, I do not eat. End of story. "oh you need to eat more" dickhead. LOOK AT ME. I am NOT the thinnest twig in the forest, OBVIOUSLY I eat TOO MUCH. So do NOT for the love of god, tease me about it, or call me up on it. Ever.
Mother dearest snarling at me every time I opened the fridge from when I was ...god I don't know, 13? with a two year break while she and my father separated, until I had to move in with her to finish schooling. So, from three years ago, CONSTANTLY growled at for going to the fridge to get something to eat puts a damper on your appatite. Not having time in the morning to make yourself breakfast, nor lunch while -at- school reduces on your -need- to eat. So you want to call me up on not eating? Go jump off a bridge. Dickhead.
'Teasing' does not mean being crude, making blunt sexual references for metaphores that are perfectly acceptable as the G-8 rating! Seriously people, there is no need to be crass!
Fourth: Friendly vs Social vs Easy.
I am a FRIENDLY person. Not social. And most certainly NOT easy.
You tell someone that you are friendly, and they automatically assume that you will spend every waking minute of every hour of every day with them, or if not with them, with other people out in crowds doing things. This is not always the case! You do such, if you are a -social- person. I am not. I dislike people, intensely, and I -loathe- crowds.
I am friendly. Which is to say I'll talk to almost anyone, get a smile, or a laugh, or even a strange look before they start murmuring about having to stand elsewhere, but I also like my 'alone time'. I would rather curl up somewhere with a book, or a sketch pad and pencil, than go out and -have- to talk to people that I don't like.
You try to explain this to people, and they assume that 'alone time' means something else entirely, and that they can quite easily invade your alone time with their alone time for some 'together' alone time. Thus 'friendly' equates to 'easy' or 'social'.
It is NOT the case. I'm probably complaining to no one, of no one in particular, but I just have to get this out there.
Friendly =\= an easy lay
Friendly =\= a social butterfly
Friendly =\= desperate for attention
Friendly =\= malleable to molding
Friendly =\= anything other than just being FRIENDLY.
Friendly = being polite, listening, smiling, giving someone your attention until such a time as other things occur. This does NOT mean that you need complete and utter devotion from another, this does NOT mean that you need to -give- said complete and utter devotion to someone else.
And no, being friendly but not social is NOT a deficiency! It does -not- need to be 'fixed'. If you cannot wrap your head around this, I repeat myself from before, GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE.
Fifth, Staring:
Okay, I know eyes wander, it's what they DO. But please, please, PLEASE, for the love of god, do not STARE. Sure, look, but don't make it OBVIOUS. For petes sake, have a sense of decorum and SUBTLETY. Godamn, you'd think that sort of thing would be, you know, COMMON SENSE.
Sixth, Art 'critiques':
If I ask for your opinion on something that I've drawn, PLEASE give me an honest one. If you hate it, say so, but please be able to tell me WHY as well, so that I can improve. More than 'oh I don't like it because that nose is too big' or 'I don't like the way you drew that there'. If you don't like the subject matter, SAY SO, if you don't like the colours used, SAY SO, if you don't like the proportions, SAY SO. Point it out to me, so that I can get better. Give and take people, I want to get better, but to my eye, my drawing isn't getting any better, but according to others I am growing by leaps and bounds. To me, it still sucks, so I'm not that good a judge of my own work. That's why I ask!
But please, PLEASE, if I ask for your opinion, and you say "I don't have one until you draw such and such for me" I am liable to scream. I DON'T want to draw what YOU want me to draw. You want a picture of pinocchio stuck in whatisface's blowhole? DRAW IT YOURSELF. Or pay me to, which will give me your opinion on my art regardless. I mean dude, if you're willing to pay for my shit, you must like it, so why couldn't you just SAY SO.
Dickhead.
I think that covers everything that is snapping at me lately, and making me snarl. I sure as hell hope so.
~ShaedowDancer~
First up: LISTEN, think, pause, reply.
Please, for the love of god, when you are TALKING to someone, LISTEN to what they are saying before you spout out some completely off-tangential question. For example, asking someone if they have anything planned for the evening? 'no', do NOT then ask them what they are DOING in that VERY SAME EVENING. The answer will be 'no'. I mean, dude, seriously, you just ASKED THAT.
Dickhead.
'what are you doing now?' 'watching tv' 'so what are you drawing then?' .........
.... -_-
'I just said that I am watching tv' 'oh sorry. What are you watching?' 'tv'.
Hint: If you are getting the equivalent of a monosyllabic reply that tells you precisely what you asked and not one whit more, odds are THEY DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. And please, with sugar on top, do NOT keep asking questions because the conversation (such as it was) not only died, but is buried and slimy with three months worth of rot! Asking questions of 'so... sup' does NOT constitute having 'anything in common', and that, dear idiots, is REQUIRED for a conversation to even OCCUR.
For petes sake.
Oh, and talking about sex doesn't count. 'yeah, so, I just finished wanking' no. Just... no. Please. DON'T GO THERE. If you are confused, go back to the hint, and read it over. Again. And again. And again. Until you get the hint!
Second complaint: COMMUNICATION.
If you send me an email, and I reply to it. You reply again, and without waiting for me to send one BACK to you, you call me? DONT. For petes sake, what was wrong with the medium being used? It was a way of talking that didn't invade, like a phone call does. I use my phone, pretty much, for emergencies only. What if my mother got into a car accident, had both her legs and her back broken and was unconsious, and the doctors needed the next of kin to come down and give a medical history because she was sort of OUT OF IT, but they couldn't get through because I was stuck talking to some dipstick I didn't like, giving monosyllabic answers until he took the hint and left? For pete's sake people. Pick a medium of communication and STICK WITH IT.
Another thing, if you communicate with someone via a somewhat less than reliable source ie. by writing a comment on my blog to me (I read all of them by the way, as I have to verify and allow them to be posted) do be a dear and CHECK BACK ON IT. Odds are if it is TO me specifically, rather than just a thingy comment, then I WILL reply to it, on my blog. Right below your comment. Asking when something happens is all very well and good, but it doesn't help YOU much if you never look back to see what my answer was!
Gyah!
Third thing: Teasing.
Odds are, if you are reading this then you know me. You know that I have issues with insomnia, and even if you -don't- know of this blog, then you will know of the insomnia anyways! So, with this reminder, do not, please, do NOT call me lazy because I got up at 9.30 in the fricking morning. Odds are I'll have gotten to sleep at FOUR. Who's the lazy one now? You going to bed at 10.30pm and getting up at six. Oohhh... you had to get up at six after a whole EIGHT HOURS SLEEP. I have just gotten FIVE and you call ME lazy?
Oh for pete's sake.
Another thing. I have an eating problem. In the sense that I don't. I eat perhaps ONCE a day. Maybe. And that relies heavily on how much I've drunk (juice, or especially milk) in that day as to whether or not I get hungry. If I am not hungry, I do not eat. End of story. "oh you need to eat more" dickhead. LOOK AT ME. I am NOT the thinnest twig in the forest, OBVIOUSLY I eat TOO MUCH. So do NOT for the love of god, tease me about it, or call me up on it. Ever.
Mother dearest snarling at me every time I opened the fridge from when I was ...god I don't know, 13? with a two year break while she and my father separated, until I had to move in with her to finish schooling. So, from three years ago, CONSTANTLY growled at for going to the fridge to get something to eat puts a damper on your appatite. Not having time in the morning to make yourself breakfast, nor lunch while -at- school reduces on your -need- to eat. So you want to call me up on not eating? Go jump off a bridge. Dickhead.
'Teasing' does not mean being crude, making blunt sexual references for metaphores that are perfectly acceptable as the G-8 rating! Seriously people, there is no need to be crass!
Fourth: Friendly vs Social vs Easy.
I am a FRIENDLY person. Not social. And most certainly NOT easy.
You tell someone that you are friendly, and they automatically assume that you will spend every waking minute of every hour of every day with them, or if not with them, with other people out in crowds doing things. This is not always the case! You do such, if you are a -social- person. I am not. I dislike people, intensely, and I -loathe- crowds.
I am friendly. Which is to say I'll talk to almost anyone, get a smile, or a laugh, or even a strange look before they start murmuring about having to stand elsewhere, but I also like my 'alone time'. I would rather curl up somewhere with a book, or a sketch pad and pencil, than go out and -have- to talk to people that I don't like.
You try to explain this to people, and they assume that 'alone time' means something else entirely, and that they can quite easily invade your alone time with their alone time for some 'together' alone time. Thus 'friendly' equates to 'easy' or 'social'.
It is NOT the case. I'm probably complaining to no one, of no one in particular, but I just have to get this out there.
Friendly =\= an easy lay
Friendly =\= a social butterfly
Friendly =\= desperate for attention
Friendly =\= malleable to molding
Friendly =\= anything other than just being FRIENDLY.
Friendly = being polite, listening, smiling, giving someone your attention until such a time as other things occur. This does NOT mean that you need complete and utter devotion from another, this does NOT mean that you need to -give- said complete and utter devotion to someone else.
And no, being friendly but not social is NOT a deficiency! It does -not- need to be 'fixed'. If you cannot wrap your head around this, I repeat myself from before, GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE.
Fifth, Staring:
Okay, I know eyes wander, it's what they DO. But please, please, PLEASE, for the love of god, do not STARE. Sure, look, but don't make it OBVIOUS. For petes sake, have a sense of decorum and SUBTLETY. Godamn, you'd think that sort of thing would be, you know, COMMON SENSE.
Sixth, Art 'critiques':
If I ask for your opinion on something that I've drawn, PLEASE give me an honest one. If you hate it, say so, but please be able to tell me WHY as well, so that I can improve. More than 'oh I don't like it because that nose is too big' or 'I don't like the way you drew that there'. If you don't like the subject matter, SAY SO, if you don't like the colours used, SAY SO, if you don't like the proportions, SAY SO. Point it out to me, so that I can get better. Give and take people, I want to get better, but to my eye, my drawing isn't getting any better, but according to others I am growing by leaps and bounds. To me, it still sucks, so I'm not that good a judge of my own work. That's why I ask!
But please, PLEASE, if I ask for your opinion, and you say "I don't have one until you draw such and such for me" I am liable to scream. I DON'T want to draw what YOU want me to draw. You want a picture of pinocchio stuck in whatisface's blowhole? DRAW IT YOURSELF. Or pay me to, which will give me your opinion on my art regardless. I mean dude, if you're willing to pay for my shit, you must like it, so why couldn't you just SAY SO.
Dickhead.
I think that covers everything that is snapping at me lately, and making me snarl. I sure as hell hope so.
~ShaedowDancer~
Wednesday 10 June 2009
Melancholy and loneliness
You know what sucks? When you are lonely for a specific person, or type of person, or something, but the only people around you that offer you company are needy, clinging, and you have to watch every other word with them?
What sucks even worse is when you find that people you think you would get along really well with, and would mesh well with, they up and vanish without a word as to why. Which makes you think back -- hey, this has happened before -- and since. So you miss the folk that leave, while giving a reason, but those that vanish without a word make you cry and think -- Did I do something wrong? What happened? Did something bad happened? Or did they just get bored and leave? -- and then the clingy people ask why you are sad, so you say, and then they get offended and sulky themselves because you don't care enough about -them- to cry over them, and neither can they help to brighten your mood.
*sighs*
Before this, I was feeling like an object, just ... something to be stared at. Which was what was happening. Alot. And -obviously-. Ick.
Now I feel unwanted. But due to objecthood, I want to feel cherished, wanted as a -person- not as a thing. *sighs*
And I've got my first exam tomorrow, another two next week. Great time for emotional/mental crisis! I have the best timing ever. -_- Not.
~ShaedowDancer~
What sucks even worse is when you find that people you think you would get along really well with, and would mesh well with, they up and vanish without a word as to why. Which makes you think back -- hey, this has happened before -- and since. So you miss the folk that leave, while giving a reason, but those that vanish without a word make you cry and think -- Did I do something wrong? What happened? Did something bad happened? Or did they just get bored and leave? -- and then the clingy people ask why you are sad, so you say, and then they get offended and sulky themselves because you don't care enough about -them- to cry over them, and neither can they help to brighten your mood.
*sighs*
Before this, I was feeling like an object, just ... something to be stared at. Which was what was happening. Alot. And -obviously-. Ick.
Now I feel unwanted. But due to objecthood, I want to feel cherished, wanted as a -person- not as a thing. *sighs*
And I've got my first exam tomorrow, another two next week. Great time for emotional/mental crisis! I have the best timing ever. -_- Not.
~ShaedowDancer~
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