Okay, walk with me through this road of logic that has me quite honestly baffled.
Our cat is a queen and in heat, so in order for everyone else to sleep semi-peacefully, my mother's bf has been losing sleep keeping her quiet. This makes him tired during the day and snappish.
Mother dearest doesn't liek that he's tired and testy, so they tend to fight.
I avoid the fights as best as I can, and stay out of their way.
Pheonix unfortunately, get's the brunt of her father's temper in the mornings.
So. To keep the peace in the house, I'm not allowed on the internet.
Right.
Mother is pissed at bf, bf is pissed at mother and to keep THEM happy, -I- have to stay in my room and off my computer?
Does any body follow the logic of that? Anyone at all? Aside of course, from the minor little detail that ALL arguments are caused by the internet and it's me, my laptop and the INTERNET'S fault that they're arguing.
I'm just...baffled. and totally not photogenic. Ugh. But that's for another day perhaps, since I don't really wish to deal with the arguments right now.
Tuesday 31 July 2007
Monday 30 July 2007
Causes of the 1917 Februrary Russian Revolution
(infodump essay, so that I can find it later without taking up any memory on my pendrive or harddrive. Oh, and our kitten is now a queen and she's in heat. Bloody noisy nuisance of a cat.)
Intro: The 1917 Revolution in Februrary was merely the explosion from a steady build up of pressure. When the 1905 Revolution acheived next to nothing for the workers and peasants and they realised that, the discontent started building again. Not only had Tsar Nicholas II reneged on the promises made in the October Manifesto, but the Duma he allowed to form supported -him- rather than the interests of the workers and peasants, those that had protested essentially. If this alone was not enough then the mismanagement of the people and politics during World War One certainly would have been.
Before the war
Economic causes- Due to the Industrial revolution, the economy was proving to be more efficient and profitiable compared to the output it once had. This meant that the archaic methods of farming were set aside and updated (around 200 years -after- the rest of Europe), albeit only slightly and industries in the cities and towns were increasing production.
- City population swelled as peasants were migrating from the farms and countryside into the cities for employment. Each factory had 1000+ workers by 1913, which made living conditions poor and labour very cheap. The low wages only increased discontent among the disgruntled workers and the close living conditions meant that it was much easier for word of a protest to get around, since censorship of the newspapers prevented the more conventional methods.
Social causes- While in some aspects the conditions of the peasants and workers -had- improved, in most others they had not, living conditions, equality of status and the right to have an equally weighted vote wasn't among the improvements. The aristocracy and upper/middle class beurgoise(sp? Merchants essentially) retained the majority of the power, leaving the peasants and workers on the bottom rungs of the social ladder.
- Bloody Sunday (February 9th, 1905) meant that the Tsar could no longer rely on the peasants loyalty for his rule (peasants are around 80% of the population). Stolypin, his Minister of the Interoro knew this and tried to get their loyalty back to the Tzar by improving famring -and- crushing the revolutionaries. His method was court marshalls, very abrupt 'justice' systems. 24 hours after being convicted the prisoner would have a trial and within 24 hours of the trial they had to have the execution-- usually by hanging. Hence the gallows became known as 'Stolypins neckties'.
Political causes- The Duma, the Third one formed but the first to actually serve it's full term of 5 years, was made up of wealthy merchants and aristocracy, therefore it was highly supportive of the Tsar and very conservative. The First Duma made a vote of no confidence in the government, Nicholas' response was to dissolve the Duma. The Second Duma was made up of Social Revolutionaries (those that started the Revolution in 1905 and want to remove the Tsar completely from his throne) was dissolved four days before it even took seat on the premise that they weren't loyal to the throne. The third Duma was made and allowed to stay as it -supported- the Tsar's decisions, rendering it rather unpopular with the peasants and workers. --prime hunting ground for the left- and right-wing revolutionaries.
The War
Effects on the people- Low wages--> due to a great number of workers going off to the war (around one in three soldiers were conscripted) businesses were failing regularly, unless of course they were part of building and creating armaments, ammunition, guns and so on, supplies for the army essentially.
- Inflation and high bread costs--> again due to the number of people in the war there weren't enough peasants working the land and farming crops to supply food for everyone, let alone the army, this pushed bread prices through the roof, a precious commodity.
Effects on the Army- Shortages --> Food, arms and ammunition were short, obviously, due to the fact that the Tsar had left about one tenth of the working population to -work- and provide the food and products for the rest of the country. It got so bad that at one stage the soldiers had to wait until their comrades holding guns fell and died to pick up their weapon and march on.
- Heavy losses --> frequent defeats to Germany and the officers treating the war like a race to Berlin resulted in a loss of morale. The individual officers advanced ahead of their supply lines and not as a uniform force, one flank would advance further than another and have to retreat. Rather than forcing the Germans out of Russia in a unified force. The Officers, generals, captains etc were made up of aristocracy, given their positions from favours and rank (ie, Lord such and such) rather than on -merit-, their capabilities as a leader was never previously tested.
Tsar Mistakes- The Tsar dismissed his uncle, Grand Duke Nikolai Nikolaevich and took personal command of the army. This was a bad move because the defeats the Russian army took in the face of the German's were now blamed directly on Nicholas II rather than on his ministers and officials. Further loss of morale and supportive loyalty to the Tsar from the civilians, army and almost everyone.
- His second major mistake was leaving the Tsarina (his disliked GERMAN wife) and Rasputin (disliked 'priest' that was introduced to the family because the heir had haemophillia and the doctors couldn't do anything about it, Rasputin managed to help somehow.) in charge. In an autocracy, the autocrat canNOT leave the centre of power to stand on the peripherals, not without commiting virtually political suicide.
Tsarina and Rasputin- The Tsarina was German and disliked before the war, now that she was in power and they were at -war- with the Germans, her popularity plummeted. Essentially she was seen as a German spy and distrusted as well as disliked - now hated.
- Now Rasputin is a bit more complex of a character. He was a peasant that was raised up through the ranks by becoming a clergy minister, of sorts. He was a mystic, a rather disliked mystic because he damaged the Royal Family's reputation, -and- because he was an advisor to the Tsar, advice which the Tsar took. Rasputin had religious 'councelling' sessions with the aristocracy. They ended up being sex orgies as numerous rituals needed to be performed 'naked'. (side note of random information, aparantly he was 11". Ouch. Perhaps his appeal was hidden beneath his cassock?)
The Revolusion- Coldest winter on record, with an average of -12 deg C compared with the -4.4 deg C of the year before.
- Low food, low wages, low comfort. On the 23rd of February--> International Womens day and thousands of women marched in a protest. They were joined by their menfolk as they marched onto the Winter Palace.
- General Khabalov tried to introduce rationing when the food shortages ran low --> very bad idea, too little too late. Should have rationed -before- then.
- Then Khabalov lost control of the army when they refused to fire on the women protestors and joined in the riot. The Tsar couldn't get the army to supress the revolution if the army didn't follow his and his general's orders, so he was forced to abdicate without the power of the army behind him to enforce his rule.
(There we go, info dump complete.)
Intro: The 1917 Revolution in Februrary was merely the explosion from a steady build up of pressure. When the 1905 Revolution acheived next to nothing for the workers and peasants and they realised that, the discontent started building again. Not only had Tsar Nicholas II reneged on the promises made in the October Manifesto, but the Duma he allowed to form supported -him- rather than the interests of the workers and peasants, those that had protested essentially. If this alone was not enough then the mismanagement of the people and politics during World War One certainly would have been.
Before the war
Economic causes- Due to the Industrial revolution, the economy was proving to be more efficient and profitiable compared to the output it once had. This meant that the archaic methods of farming were set aside and updated (around 200 years -after- the rest of Europe), albeit only slightly and industries in the cities and towns were increasing production.
- City population swelled as peasants were migrating from the farms and countryside into the cities for employment. Each factory had 1000+ workers by 1913, which made living conditions poor and labour very cheap. The low wages only increased discontent among the disgruntled workers and the close living conditions meant that it was much easier for word of a protest to get around, since censorship of the newspapers prevented the more conventional methods.
Social causes- While in some aspects the conditions of the peasants and workers -had- improved, in most others they had not, living conditions, equality of status and the right to have an equally weighted vote wasn't among the improvements. The aristocracy and upper/middle class beurgoise(sp? Merchants essentially) retained the majority of the power, leaving the peasants and workers on the bottom rungs of the social ladder.
- Bloody Sunday (February 9th, 1905) meant that the Tsar could no longer rely on the peasants loyalty for his rule (peasants are around 80% of the population). Stolypin, his Minister of the Interoro knew this and tried to get their loyalty back to the Tzar by improving famring -and- crushing the revolutionaries. His method was court marshalls, very abrupt 'justice' systems. 24 hours after being convicted the prisoner would have a trial and within 24 hours of the trial they had to have the execution-- usually by hanging. Hence the gallows became known as 'Stolypins neckties'.
Political causes- The Duma, the Third one formed but the first to actually serve it's full term of 5 years, was made up of wealthy merchants and aristocracy, therefore it was highly supportive of the Tsar and very conservative. The First Duma made a vote of no confidence in the government, Nicholas' response was to dissolve the Duma. The Second Duma was made up of Social Revolutionaries (those that started the Revolution in 1905 and want to remove the Tsar completely from his throne) was dissolved four days before it even took seat on the premise that they weren't loyal to the throne. The third Duma was made and allowed to stay as it -supported- the Tsar's decisions, rendering it rather unpopular with the peasants and workers. --prime hunting ground for the left- and right-wing revolutionaries.
The War
Effects on the people- Low wages--> due to a great number of workers going off to the war (around one in three soldiers were conscripted) businesses were failing regularly, unless of course they were part of building and creating armaments, ammunition, guns and so on, supplies for the army essentially.
- Inflation and high bread costs--> again due to the number of people in the war there weren't enough peasants working the land and farming crops to supply food for everyone, let alone the army, this pushed bread prices through the roof, a precious commodity.
Effects on the Army- Shortages --> Food, arms and ammunition were short, obviously, due to the fact that the Tsar had left about one tenth of the working population to -work- and provide the food and products for the rest of the country. It got so bad that at one stage the soldiers had to wait until their comrades holding guns fell and died to pick up their weapon and march on.
- Heavy losses --> frequent defeats to Germany and the officers treating the war like a race to Berlin resulted in a loss of morale. The individual officers advanced ahead of their supply lines and not as a uniform force, one flank would advance further than another and have to retreat. Rather than forcing the Germans out of Russia in a unified force. The Officers, generals, captains etc were made up of aristocracy, given their positions from favours and rank (ie, Lord such and such) rather than on -merit-, their capabilities as a leader was never previously tested.
Tsar Mistakes- The Tsar dismissed his uncle, Grand Duke Nikolai Nikolaevich and took personal command of the army. This was a bad move because the defeats the Russian army took in the face of the German's were now blamed directly on Nicholas II rather than on his ministers and officials. Further loss of morale and supportive loyalty to the Tsar from the civilians, army and almost everyone.
- His second major mistake was leaving the Tsarina (his disliked GERMAN wife) and Rasputin (disliked 'priest' that was introduced to the family because the heir had haemophillia and the doctors couldn't do anything about it, Rasputin managed to help somehow.) in charge. In an autocracy, the autocrat canNOT leave the centre of power to stand on the peripherals, not without commiting virtually political suicide.
Tsarina and Rasputin- The Tsarina was German and disliked before the war, now that she was in power and they were at -war- with the Germans, her popularity plummeted. Essentially she was seen as a German spy and distrusted as well as disliked - now hated.
- Now Rasputin is a bit more complex of a character. He was a peasant that was raised up through the ranks by becoming a clergy minister, of sorts. He was a mystic, a rather disliked mystic because he damaged the Royal Family's reputation, -and- because he was an advisor to the Tsar, advice which the Tsar took. Rasputin had religious 'councelling' sessions with the aristocracy. They ended up being sex orgies as numerous rituals needed to be performed 'naked'. (side note of random information, aparantly he was 11". Ouch. Perhaps his appeal was hidden beneath his cassock?)
The Revolusion- Coldest winter on record, with an average of -12 deg C compared with the -4.4 deg C of the year before.
- Low food, low wages, low comfort. On the 23rd of February--> International Womens day and thousands of women marched in a protest. They were joined by their menfolk as they marched onto the Winter Palace.
- General Khabalov tried to introduce rationing when the food shortages ran low --> very bad idea, too little too late. Should have rationed -before- then.
- Then Khabalov lost control of the army when they refused to fire on the women protestors and joined in the riot. The Tsar couldn't get the army to supress the revolution if the army didn't follow his and his general's orders, so he was forced to abdicate without the power of the army behind him to enforce his rule.
(There we go, info dump complete.)
Friday 27 July 2007
Arrogance.
Okay, two things, first; if you don't like my point of view or my opinions as I voice them here without worrying about insulting someone then, I assure you, you are under NO constraints to continue reading.
This is MY blog, MY head and if you don't like what you find here then go alt+F4 or move onto another site. I know I'm arrogant, I know I'm far from blameless in NAY category, I make no excuses for it, I accept it and I try my bloody hardest to change it, mostly. But if YOU think to judge me, condemn me for what you find in my head after I INVITED YOU IN, then you know where the 'x' in the corner of your screen is, USE IT.
Okay, rant on that topic over.
I hate the cause for my post today, as it is horribly hypocritical, but other peoples arrogance -really- pisses me off. Well actually, it's just this one girl. My RE teacher was speeling off about quantum physics and philosophy, and because -she- was bored with the topic or couldn'g understand it, she kept on saying 'no, no, stop. You cant. Just no.'
Of course, she said it quietly but it was the tone of voice that riled me. It was that... pompous silver-spoon upper-crust attitude, as though because -she- was sick of it, everyone else should agree with her attitude.
And I've probably offended Xin, again, with that comment.
I wasn't born into weath, I'm still not PART of wealth. I don't conceal the fact that I'm a 'poor breed', even in my previous school, a country town, I was still a 'poor breed'. That colours my judgements, I know it does, it means, ironically, that I'm ever so slightly prejudiced against rich people. Especially those that 'waste' money. You know, those that go out every weekend and blow upwards of $100 a week, on their 'me' time, or shopping or sociallising or whatever, you get my point.
The arrogance that comes with being priviledged -really- annoys me, it's like the do-gooder Christians, those that want to go out and convert the 'barbarians' and 'heathens' into their 'civilisation'. It sickens me, that they preach about doing the 'Lords' work and love thy neighbour and all that fruit, just so that they can go and be a 'good' person, and have something to bloody brag about on Sunday!
Bloody hypocrits (yes, I'm including myself in here, I'm a bloody hypocrit too, wonder why I loathe myself?)
This is MY blog, MY head and if you don't like what you find here then go alt+F4 or move onto another site. I know I'm arrogant, I know I'm far from blameless in NAY category, I make no excuses for it, I accept it and I try my bloody hardest to change it, mostly. But if YOU think to judge me, condemn me for what you find in my head after I INVITED YOU IN, then you know where the 'x' in the corner of your screen is, USE IT.
Okay, rant on that topic over.
I hate the cause for my post today, as it is horribly hypocritical, but other peoples arrogance -really- pisses me off. Well actually, it's just this one girl. My RE teacher was speeling off about quantum physics and philosophy, and because -she- was bored with the topic or couldn'g understand it, she kept on saying 'no, no, stop. You cant. Just no.'
Of course, she said it quietly but it was the tone of voice that riled me. It was that... pompous silver-spoon upper-crust attitude, as though because -she- was sick of it, everyone else should agree with her attitude.
And I've probably offended Xin, again, with that comment.
I wasn't born into weath, I'm still not PART of wealth. I don't conceal the fact that I'm a 'poor breed', even in my previous school, a country town, I was still a 'poor breed'. That colours my judgements, I know it does, it means, ironically, that I'm ever so slightly prejudiced against rich people. Especially those that 'waste' money. You know, those that go out every weekend and blow upwards of $100 a week, on their 'me' time, or shopping or sociallising or whatever, you get my point.
The arrogance that comes with being priviledged -really- annoys me, it's like the do-gooder Christians, those that want to go out and convert the 'barbarians' and 'heathens' into their 'civilisation'. It sickens me, that they preach about doing the 'Lords' work and love thy neighbour and all that fruit, just so that they can go and be a 'good' person, and have something to bloody brag about on Sunday!
Bloody hypocrits (yes, I'm including myself in here, I'm a bloody hypocrit too, wonder why I loathe myself?)
Tuesday 24 July 2007
Morals
You know, sometimes I hate having such high morals that I do, and what I hold as value, since it tends to create such arguments among those around me.
I've just had an RE class to do with morals and arguing with almost everyone else in my class because they quite frankly, can't see beyond their own blasted nose! I mean, it was to do with capitalism and how the more selfish the society the higher the level of mental illness is etc, but we got to arguing about people having choices. The general opinion was that -everyone- chose what they did, if someone raped another they CHOSE to do so. Fair enough, there is -some- choice in the matter, but more often than not there is next to no choice, not as you would consider a 'choice' to be. It's not always black and white, right and wrong.
I tried to bring in the point of prostitutes, how not all of them -choose- to be streetwalkers, it's the only way they can support themselves, their families etc. One bright spark said 'well become a waitress' and from there the argument went on. *sighs*
So, I got fed up with them condemning those that make 'bad' choices and I just -had- to say something. I said "This will get me yelled at, but from what I'm hearing, you are all from rich families, you have to to go here (it's an expensive school) so you can't know what these other people face to make the 'choises' they do, it's not always a choice. So get down off your high horse and away from the assumption that EVERYONE comes from the same background as you, on the same pedastle that you oh so regally look down from when they DON'T. Walk a mile in another's shoes before you judge them.'
Yes, well, that got me royally yelled at. Fair enough I could have phrazed it more delicately than I did, but you can understand that I was a bit pissed off by this point. They're saying that no matter what happens you can always make a choice yadda yadda yadda. I mean, COME ON people, the world is NOT perfect, get down of your horse and walk the streets for a while, get your lilly-white feet dirty and THEN you can tell me that they made the fucking choice to steal.
I'm an openminded person, extremely so, I don't cast stones, not without having been in that exact same situation and I have reacted in a way different to them. The girls in my class were all for saying 'who do you think you are? You don't know me, you don't know what I've been through' etc, and too right, I DON'T know whaty THEY have been through, but I DO know what OTHERS have. And it is from -that- knowledge that I condemn them for 'lording' it over the 'lower class'.
Yeah, Australia is a classless society my foot.
I've just had an RE class to do with morals and arguing with almost everyone else in my class because they quite frankly, can't see beyond their own blasted nose! I mean, it was to do with capitalism and how the more selfish the society the higher the level of mental illness is etc, but we got to arguing about people having choices. The general opinion was that -everyone- chose what they did, if someone raped another they CHOSE to do so. Fair enough, there is -some- choice in the matter, but more often than not there is next to no choice, not as you would consider a 'choice' to be. It's not always black and white, right and wrong.
I tried to bring in the point of prostitutes, how not all of them -choose- to be streetwalkers, it's the only way they can support themselves, their families etc. One bright spark said 'well become a waitress' and from there the argument went on. *sighs*
So, I got fed up with them condemning those that make 'bad' choices and I just -had- to say something. I said "This will get me yelled at, but from what I'm hearing, you are all from rich families, you have to to go here (it's an expensive school) so you can't know what these other people face to make the 'choises' they do, it's not always a choice. So get down off your high horse and away from the assumption that EVERYONE comes from the same background as you, on the same pedastle that you oh so regally look down from when they DON'T. Walk a mile in another's shoes before you judge them.'
Yes, well, that got me royally yelled at. Fair enough I could have phrazed it more delicately than I did, but you can understand that I was a bit pissed off by this point. They're saying that no matter what happens you can always make a choice yadda yadda yadda. I mean, COME ON people, the world is NOT perfect, get down of your horse and walk the streets for a while, get your lilly-white feet dirty and THEN you can tell me that they made the fucking choice to steal.
I'm an openminded person, extremely so, I don't cast stones, not without having been in that exact same situation and I have reacted in a way different to them. The girls in my class were all for saying 'who do you think you are? You don't know me, you don't know what I've been through' etc, and too right, I DON'T know whaty THEY have been through, but I DO know what OTHERS have. And it is from -that- knowledge that I condemn them for 'lording' it over the 'lower class'.
Yeah, Australia is a classless society my foot.
Monday 23 July 2007
What the...?
Okay, here's the run down of my confusion. I thought that today I had school. I was under the assumption that I did, so last night I go to bed early (9.30pm or so) set my alarm for 6.30am, when it is still dark I'll have you know, got up, had a shower etc, got ready for school...
Only to find, first off that the bus wasn't coming. Second that there was no school. -_-
So, I spend all of yesterday, or the greater majority of it, trying to type up an essay that ends up being around the 1500 word mark rather than 1800, stressing that I wouldn't get it done in time, I go to bed EARLY, get up EARLY all for what? To be told that I didn't have to get up to my alarm that's what!
Gah. Y'know, if it weren't for the fact that I got the day of school, I would be ROYALLY annoyed.
Change of subject-- The meaning of life.
Don't ask me how they link, they just do.
Last night I spoke to Xin, and since he seems to forget to believe me when I say that if you ask me a question, I'll give you an answer. Obviously meaning philosophical ones and the like, not maths or chemistry or whatever. Ugh. So, what does he ask me? For the third time so far? 'What is the meaning of Life?'
Of course I answered! It's a rather good answer actually, but I'm writing this post so that he can't ask me, again, thinking that he's found something I can't reply to. Honestly, that question get's boring after a while. Don't look at me like that, I -will- give you my answer, patience is a virtue you know.
And it does! I mean, after you get asked the same thing five times you get a bit over repeating yourself you know? Hence my blog, so I don't have to repeat myself umpteen amout of times.
Now, the meaning of life! Some people say that it's love, others that it's procreation, you know, the whole 'continuation of the species'. It's 'making a name for yourself', 'leaving your mark on the world', 'living the life you dreamed of'. Hmm, well to me, none of these are good reasons for 'living', and I should know. Is it the same for you? Do they just seem like justificiactions? Let's pull religion into it shall we? Christians believe that the meaning of life is to do good and get into heaven, to sit at the right hand of Jesus or whatever. Hindu's I believe, are of the opinion that the karma you build in this life will directly influence the form you take in the next-- again, be good or else. Bhuddists; to reach the stage of pure enlightenment and become a bhudda. Which generally involves being a nice loving, wonderful person. Hmm...are you seeing a theme here?
To my point of view, none of these reasons actually give -life- meaning, simply provides the consequences after you die. Either that or the 'meaning' is so worthless that it is virtually pointless. So. My answer to 'what is the meaning of life?'
Life has no more meaning than that which you give it, what you do with it is your own life's meaning. Therefore, choose your priorities carefully, wisely, and ensure that you can live with the choices you have made, be them between two 'evils' or the road you walk, no matter the path.
Summary: You give your life it's own meaning, no matter what that meaning is and no one else can tell you what -your- life's meaning is.
Think on it.
Only to find, first off that the bus wasn't coming. Second that there was no school. -_-
So, I spend all of yesterday, or the greater majority of it, trying to type up an essay that ends up being around the 1500 word mark rather than 1800, stressing that I wouldn't get it done in time, I go to bed EARLY, get up EARLY all for what? To be told that I didn't have to get up to my alarm that's what!
Gah. Y'know, if it weren't for the fact that I got the day of school, I would be ROYALLY annoyed.
Change of subject-- The meaning of life.
Don't ask me how they link, they just do.
Last night I spoke to Xin, and since he seems to forget to believe me when I say that if you ask me a question, I'll give you an answer. Obviously meaning philosophical ones and the like, not maths or chemistry or whatever. Ugh. So, what does he ask me? For the third time so far? 'What is the meaning of Life?'
Of course I answered! It's a rather good answer actually, but I'm writing this post so that he can't ask me, again, thinking that he's found something I can't reply to. Honestly, that question get's boring after a while. Don't look at me like that, I -will- give you my answer, patience is a virtue you know.
And it does! I mean, after you get asked the same thing five times you get a bit over repeating yourself you know? Hence my blog, so I don't have to repeat myself umpteen amout of times.
Now, the meaning of life! Some people say that it's love, others that it's procreation, you know, the whole 'continuation of the species'. It's 'making a name for yourself', 'leaving your mark on the world', 'living the life you dreamed of'. Hmm, well to me, none of these are good reasons for 'living', and I should know. Is it the same for you? Do they just seem like justificiactions? Let's pull religion into it shall we? Christians believe that the meaning of life is to do good and get into heaven, to sit at the right hand of Jesus or whatever. Hindu's I believe, are of the opinion that the karma you build in this life will directly influence the form you take in the next-- again, be good or else. Bhuddists; to reach the stage of pure enlightenment and become a bhudda. Which generally involves being a nice loving, wonderful person. Hmm...are you seeing a theme here?
To my point of view, none of these reasons actually give -life- meaning, simply provides the consequences after you die. Either that or the 'meaning' is so worthless that it is virtually pointless. So. My answer to 'what is the meaning of life?'
Life has no more meaning than that which you give it, what you do with it is your own life's meaning. Therefore, choose your priorities carefully, wisely, and ensure that you can live with the choices you have made, be them between two 'evils' or the road you walk, no matter the path.
Summary: You give your life it's own meaning, no matter what that meaning is and no one else can tell you what -your- life's meaning is.
Think on it.
Saturday 21 July 2007
Harry Potter!
Yes, I'm a potter lover, an unashamed one too! Awesome books and Radcliffe is cute too. ;D But anyways, I've juuust finished reading the book, HP and the Deathly Hallows. And it. is. AWESOME.
Seriously! I won't give you slower readers any spoilers (took me a grand total of 8 hours to read, or 11 hours since I got it but I didn't open it then, saw the Order of the Phoenix first) aside from the fact that....well, the last word in the book is 'well' and lots and lots of characters die. Six at a rough count, and -no- I won't tell you who. No...wait, seven.
I'll dispell a couple rumours though, Malfoy and Harry DON'T end up as buddies, and yes Harry DOES die, *grin* so does Voldemort, but you'll find that out on your own. Lessee what else....
Newp, I can't say anything else without spoiling! It is an awesome book, very very good. If you've noticed, (I had) that order of the phoenix and half-blood prince weren't as well written as the previous four books? Lacking the detail, still good reads, but not up to the same quality as say the philosopher's stone. Trust me, Deathly Hallows more than makes up for their lack! The first two chapters are a -bit- dull, but you get that, you have to gentle the readers into the action rather than throwing it directly at them. Whew, I couldn't put it down. And then I had people bugging me in THE fight scene and and and...argh!
I'm still a bit hyper sorry, I tend to get like this after finishing a good book, hell a new book is a good thing :D
Anyways, I also went and saw Order of the Phoenix, bloody good movie. Good special effects, they didn't cut too much out of the storyline, there were parts that were only sketched at, Hagrid's foray into the giants for instance, how and wy he brought Grawp back, that they could have gone into a little flash back cinematic thing, perhaps a bit more about the DA (Dumbledores Army) and how they communicated perhaps, to organise the meetings, but the rest was absolutely wonderful. Kudos to the makers!
So yes, I'm back at my mothers, unfortunately and ironically she couldn't work my laptop while i was at my fathers (suck shit!) where as I am having about the same amount of trouble I usually do and I'm not entirely sure of what her problem was lol. I've gotten my hair dyed too, it's a violety-purple red, rather dark, and lighter streaks of blonde through it. It looks rather good actually, I like it. And that's my summarisation for my life for now (oh, and that I -still- haven't done my holiday homework heh, I guess I'd best knuckle down tomorrow eh?) oh! and I bought a CD thing for spanish from Dymocks (a book store) so I can learn proper spanish, rather than mexican XD Ah well. Until another day, adios!
ps. !! I forgot, I caught up with one of my long time friends yester-no wait, friday now, and had a good talk with her. Heh, stunned her when I admitted that I'd contemplated suicide, and even told her how I'd go about it and all. Course, this was after I told her all the stuff I had to pay and whatnot (check a previous post to see how much I'm worth a month) and she doesn't like my mother now, ironic, considering that she was charmed by the lady. Thought she was alright you know? But then, everyone who meets mother dearest does, they think she's wonderful. Ah well. *shrugs* And I swear that's it! I'll shut up now before my post gets 'scary long'.
Seriously! I won't give you slower readers any spoilers (took me a grand total of 8 hours to read, or 11 hours since I got it but I didn't open it then, saw the Order of the Phoenix first) aside from the fact that....well, the last word in the book is 'well' and lots and lots of characters die. Six at a rough count, and -no- I won't tell you who. No...wait, seven.
I'll dispell a couple rumours though, Malfoy and Harry DON'T end up as buddies, and yes Harry DOES die, *grin* so does Voldemort, but you'll find that out on your own. Lessee what else....
Newp, I can't say anything else without spoiling! It is an awesome book, very very good. If you've noticed, (I had) that order of the phoenix and half-blood prince weren't as well written as the previous four books? Lacking the detail, still good reads, but not up to the same quality as say the philosopher's stone. Trust me, Deathly Hallows more than makes up for their lack! The first two chapters are a -bit- dull, but you get that, you have to gentle the readers into the action rather than throwing it directly at them. Whew, I couldn't put it down. And then I had people bugging me in THE fight scene and and and...argh!
I'm still a bit hyper sorry, I tend to get like this after finishing a good book, hell a new book is a good thing :D
Anyways, I also went and saw Order of the Phoenix, bloody good movie. Good special effects, they didn't cut too much out of the storyline, there were parts that were only sketched at, Hagrid's foray into the giants for instance, how and wy he brought Grawp back, that they could have gone into a little flash back cinematic thing, perhaps a bit more about the DA (Dumbledores Army) and how they communicated perhaps, to organise the meetings, but the rest was absolutely wonderful. Kudos to the makers!
So yes, I'm back at my mothers, unfortunately and ironically she couldn't work my laptop while i was at my fathers (suck shit!) where as I am having about the same amount of trouble I usually do and I'm not entirely sure of what her problem was lol. I've gotten my hair dyed too, it's a violety-purple red, rather dark, and lighter streaks of blonde through it. It looks rather good actually, I like it. And that's my summarisation for my life for now (oh, and that I -still- haven't done my holiday homework heh, I guess I'd best knuckle down tomorrow eh?) oh! and I bought a CD thing for spanish from Dymocks (a book store) so I can learn proper spanish, rather than mexican XD Ah well. Until another day, adios!
ps. !! I forgot, I caught up with one of my long time friends yester-no wait, friday now, and had a good talk with her. Heh, stunned her when I admitted that I'd contemplated suicide, and even told her how I'd go about it and all. Course, this was after I told her all the stuff I had to pay and whatnot (check a previous post to see how much I'm worth a month) and she doesn't like my mother now, ironic, considering that she was charmed by the lady. Thought she was alright you know? But then, everyone who meets mother dearest does, they think she's wonderful. Ah well. *shrugs* And I swear that's it! I'll shut up now before my post gets 'scary long'.
Tuesday 17 July 2007
Spanish!
Or more accurately, mexican. I'm learning/teaching myself it. It's fun, yet I fail, miserably, in trying to construct sentences. And considering that my 'teacher' learnt both english and spanish at the same time, so was never formally taught as such, has made things a bit hard you know?
So anyways, I can say... hola, me llamo Ange, cual es tu nombre?
hello, my name is ange, and your name is? (I think, it was sort of just rattled out by him)
And... me menara de hablar espanol por las mananas es una broma
My way of speaking spanish in the mornings is a joke.
Now, they have male/female and neuter words, sentences rather. And the sentence has to 'agree'. So you can't have me menara de hablo because menara is female and hablo is neuter/male and you can't do that. Summary: words ending with a are female, words ending with e or o are male. So, if the word ends with an a then the alterable verbs and conjugated words (it is a SPASTIC language) have to change to agree with that one word so that it becomes a female sentence.
You still with me?
For example you can't have la rinoceronte(i think that's how you spell it), because 'la' is for female and rinoceronte is a MALE word, so it would have to be el rinoceronte. It doesn't matter if the rhino is male or female, its because it ends with an 'e' or 'o' that makes it male. Giraffe in english would be male, but girafa is female. Ergo, la girafa macho. The male giraffe.
Fun no? And I'm trying to get my head around this BEFORE school starts again.
So anyways, I can say... hola, me llamo Ange, cual es tu nombre?
hello, my name is ange, and your name is? (I think, it was sort of just rattled out by him)
And... me menara de hablar espanol por las mananas es una broma
My way of speaking spanish in the mornings is a joke.
Now, they have male/female and neuter words, sentences rather. And the sentence has to 'agree'. So you can't have me menara de hablo because menara is female and hablo is neuter/male and you can't do that. Summary: words ending with a are female, words ending with e or o are male. So, if the word ends with an a then the alterable verbs and conjugated words (it is a SPASTIC language) have to change to agree with that one word so that it becomes a female sentence.
You still with me?
For example you can't have la rinoceronte(i think that's how you spell it), because 'la' is for female and rinoceronte is a MALE word, so it would have to be el rinoceronte. It doesn't matter if the rhino is male or female, its because it ends with an 'e' or 'o' that makes it male. Giraffe in english would be male, but girafa is female. Ergo, la girafa macho. The male giraffe.
Fun no? And I'm trying to get my head around this BEFORE school starts again.
Monday 16 July 2007
Spastic dream
Seriously spastic. Most of you know that I haven't trained for a couple years now right? So what the devil am I doing dreaming about being in a tournament?
Okay, so my dream starts in the middle of a kumite (fight) bout, where I'm standing on the sidelines, hot and bothered and slightly smarting as I'd just lost my fight, royally thumped, hey, it was the nationals and I was -way- out of practise. Seriously so. A little blurring of the time, and I'm lining up for a kata round.
Two people who know me ask me who I'd rather verse in the final round. I replied with a snort "I doubt I'll get past the first round, considering I can barely remember the entirety of a kata."
"Oh yeah, that might be a bit of a bummer eh?"
"Hope to get to verse you."
Then the round started, I was semi-watching the other kata's, just mostly stressing over the fact that this was a NATIONAL competition and I had NOTHING to work with for the first round. I wasn't even sure if I had the entirety of the Kata I was planning to do in my head.
My turn comes up, and I've got a seriously bad case of stage fright. I straighten my shoulders, walk out to the middle of the mat, bow, keep my eyes shut, walk to the center, bow again and open my eyes. "Heian Godan!" I say, the first round -always- has to be a heian kata, it's very basic kata's, the first ones you learn. I pull it off...alright, I think I missed bits and added bits and scrambled it into other kata's, but it looked good, must have because I got into the second round.
This round I did Jion, and thoroughly stuffed it up. My two favourite katas, my competition kata actually, the pair that I've done so many times for performing in a tournament that I can do them asleep...and it seems to have semi-paid off. Unfortunately I get knocked out in this round, and the winner went on to win third place, so it's not that bad I suppose. But oddly enough, before the bout had finished, this...balloon cage thing descended through the roof and a moth like she-boy entered the bout, performed a kata, very gracefully and elegantly, and won first place.
After that, my dad helped me go through jion, basically reteaching it to me, so that I remembered the entirety of it. That was fine, once I was satisfied with that, or rather, he was, I went over and befriended the she-boy, since no one was really sure if he was a she or a he, too feminine looking to be a he, yet lacking the obvious female characteristics, hips for one, to be a she. We were having a nice chat, when he invited me into his bubble-cage thing, I said a goodbye to my dad and all that, before following him. We went up through the roof and over fields and things, still talking, well more, him laughing as I was awe-ing at the view. And then....and then my cat jumped up onto my bed and laid against my legs, waking me up.
I was fine enough with that and all, but what's got me freaked out, is that because I had the kata retaught to me in my dreams, I can remember the ENTIRE kata -now-, while I'm awake, and I won't be struggling to remember which move comes next or anything. Odd...very, odd.
Oh, and my moth she-boy, was silver, a quite a luxurious shade of silvery grey that shimmers in the light...
Okay, so my dream starts in the middle of a kumite (fight) bout, where I'm standing on the sidelines, hot and bothered and slightly smarting as I'd just lost my fight, royally thumped, hey, it was the nationals and I was -way- out of practise. Seriously so. A little blurring of the time, and I'm lining up for a kata round.
Two people who know me ask me who I'd rather verse in the final round. I replied with a snort "I doubt I'll get past the first round, considering I can barely remember the entirety of a kata."
"Oh yeah, that might be a bit of a bummer eh?"
"Hope to get to verse you."
Then the round started, I was semi-watching the other kata's, just mostly stressing over the fact that this was a NATIONAL competition and I had NOTHING to work with for the first round. I wasn't even sure if I had the entirety of the Kata I was planning to do in my head.
My turn comes up, and I've got a seriously bad case of stage fright. I straighten my shoulders, walk out to the middle of the mat, bow, keep my eyes shut, walk to the center, bow again and open my eyes. "Heian Godan!" I say, the first round -always- has to be a heian kata, it's very basic kata's, the first ones you learn. I pull it off...alright, I think I missed bits and added bits and scrambled it into other kata's, but it looked good, must have because I got into the second round.
This round I did Jion, and thoroughly stuffed it up. My two favourite katas, my competition kata actually, the pair that I've done so many times for performing in a tournament that I can do them asleep...and it seems to have semi-paid off. Unfortunately I get knocked out in this round, and the winner went on to win third place, so it's not that bad I suppose. But oddly enough, before the bout had finished, this...balloon cage thing descended through the roof and a moth like she-boy entered the bout, performed a kata, very gracefully and elegantly, and won first place.
After that, my dad helped me go through jion, basically reteaching it to me, so that I remembered the entirety of it. That was fine, once I was satisfied with that, or rather, he was, I went over and befriended the she-boy, since no one was really sure if he was a she or a he, too feminine looking to be a he, yet lacking the obvious female characteristics, hips for one, to be a she. We were having a nice chat, when he invited me into his bubble-cage thing, I said a goodbye to my dad and all that, before following him. We went up through the roof and over fields and things, still talking, well more, him laughing as I was awe-ing at the view. And then....and then my cat jumped up onto my bed and laid against my legs, waking me up.
I was fine enough with that and all, but what's got me freaked out, is that because I had the kata retaught to me in my dreams, I can remember the ENTIRE kata -now-, while I'm awake, and I won't be struggling to remember which move comes next or anything. Odd...very, odd.
Oh, and my moth she-boy, was silver, a quite a luxurious shade of silvery grey that shimmers in the light...
Sunday 15 July 2007
Freedome!
Yes, I am free! Have been for a week actually, been staying up at my fathers, and I've been quite happy, which if any of you who have spoken to me recently will no doubt have noticed that I -seem- happier. And I was, I love my father, if he wants me to do something, he gives me a -reason- for it, other than 'because I said so'.
Like yesterday, he wanted me to get off the net, so I did. You know why? Because he wanted my help with shifting stuff. First I had to fill a trailor load of wood, two people with chainsaws, one carter, and I managed to keep up rather well with the loads. That was fine, then I had to help shift two...no, three bookcases (empty of course) and load them up onto a ute. Then, to top it all off, I helped load up a wallunit (a wardrobe like thing, hell heavy) onto a trailor.
My arms were twinging slightly about now. A fifteen minute drive, if not a bit more, and we get the joy of unloading the lot again. *sigh* my arms are now on strike, they're forming unions and refusing to work.
So you see, whenever my father asks me to do something, I can actually give a -reason- for it, and I get one back, one more definite than 'because I said so' or, 'because I don't want you to'
Yes, I have been happy, quietly, blissfully happy. And then mother dearest arrives for a few hours.
So, barely half an hour has passed and she's gone off at me, twice. *sighs* Figures eh? So my happy mood was gone, like that. Hence why I haven't posted actually, happiness is boring to post about, who wants to read about people being happy? It's boring.
Side note: Kill Bill 1&2 are -awesome- watched them the other day, and one quote just stuck with me, I love it!
Bill: ...why didn't you tell me?
Beatrice: I...I don't know, because I'm a bad person.
Bill: No no, you're not a bad person, you're a wonderful, nice, kind person. My favourite person, but sometimes, you're a real cunt.
I just love that little mini scene thing! It's so sad, so ....awwww ness and yet you laugh, he's going to stand, take those five steps and die but it's so sweet! They both still love each other, but they can't move from the path they've chosen, Beatrice for revenge and Bill from what he is...It's so sad, so sweet so...just awwwwww. <3
Like yesterday, he wanted me to get off the net, so I did. You know why? Because he wanted my help with shifting stuff. First I had to fill a trailor load of wood, two people with chainsaws, one carter, and I managed to keep up rather well with the loads. That was fine, then I had to help shift two...no, three bookcases (empty of course) and load them up onto a ute. Then, to top it all off, I helped load up a wallunit (a wardrobe like thing, hell heavy) onto a trailor.
My arms were twinging slightly about now. A fifteen minute drive, if not a bit more, and we get the joy of unloading the lot again. *sigh* my arms are now on strike, they're forming unions and refusing to work.
So you see, whenever my father asks me to do something, I can actually give a -reason- for it, and I get one back, one more definite than 'because I said so' or, 'because I don't want you to'
Yes, I have been happy, quietly, blissfully happy. And then mother dearest arrives for a few hours.
So, barely half an hour has passed and she's gone off at me, twice. *sighs* Figures eh? So my happy mood was gone, like that. Hence why I haven't posted actually, happiness is boring to post about, who wants to read about people being happy? It's boring.
Side note: Kill Bill 1&2 are -awesome- watched them the other day, and one quote just stuck with me, I love it!
Bill: ...why didn't you tell me?
Beatrice: I...I don't know, because I'm a bad person.
Bill: No no, you're not a bad person, you're a wonderful, nice, kind person. My favourite person, but sometimes, you're a real cunt.
I just love that little mini scene thing! It's so sad, so ....awwww ness and yet you laugh, he's going to stand, take those five steps and die but it's so sweet! They both still love each other, but they can't move from the path they've chosen, Beatrice for revenge and Bill from what he is...It's so sad, so sweet so...just awwwwww. <3
Sunday 8 July 2007
Life update!
First off...I posted twice? o.o I didn't notice, honestly, and the reason neither post was actually finished was because my mind has been rather skittish recently. Refusing to concentrate on anything.
Lets see...what's been going on in my life? Mother dearest has decided to stop trying to control my life, since I have this knack for circumventing her attempts to, even while 'following' her 'orders'. So yes, things are happier now than they have been, since I am hiding my emotions and only showing those that she wishes to see. Smart alec-y sarcastic humour.
Oh, my art teacher likes what I've been painting, it's shells, a larger canvas done in shades of blue, and then a smaller one to go ontop done in shades of red and yellow. It looks rather nice actually, if I do say so myself. In a Lit test like thing, an in class essay, I think I did pretty well, I used quotes from three poems so that should get me brownie points if nothing else does.
My mother's boyfriend is trying to control me now, snapping at me and the like, which means that when mum pulls him up on it, he gets antzy and even worse. Because of his daughter, being a 6yo, he automatically assumes that the same methods would work on, and be appropriate for myself. It's frustrating you know? To be seen as a child, when you're almost an adult, legally, yet you know, in your entire body, that when you gain your majority they're going to treat you exactly the same?
Oh, and you know how I want to go travelling or whatever after school finishes? Mother dearest has somehow contrived that into being an insult against -her-, that I don't care about what she does etc, fair enough I don't, but I would have moved out at the end of school anyways, whether or not we got along better. I'd been planning it since I was about ....12 or so and the end of my school years was looming dangerously close on the horizon.
Mother dearest thinks that because I havent given her the details of exactly -how- I am going to acheive this, she thinks that I'm not going to. But I am damnit, I -am- going to travel, I -am- going to leave her house, and I -am- going to live on my own.
If all else fails, I'll live on a uni campus or something, it shouldn't cost too much extra, since my uni fees ought to be getting paid out in a couple years anyways, from a trust fund my parents started paying when I was like, two.
So yeah, there we go. An update of what has been going on in my life, not that it's terribly exciting, but bleh. Oh, and I have been semi-invited to a couple parties over the holidays, i doubt it will come to pass as the girl who invited me has absolutely no way of contacting me outside school. Figures eh?
Lets see...what's been going on in my life? Mother dearest has decided to stop trying to control my life, since I have this knack for circumventing her attempts to, even while 'following' her 'orders'. So yes, things are happier now than they have been, since I am hiding my emotions and only showing those that she wishes to see. Smart alec-y sarcastic humour.
Oh, my art teacher likes what I've been painting, it's shells, a larger canvas done in shades of blue, and then a smaller one to go ontop done in shades of red and yellow. It looks rather nice actually, if I do say so myself. In a Lit test like thing, an in class essay, I think I did pretty well, I used quotes from three poems so that should get me brownie points if nothing else does.
My mother's boyfriend is trying to control me now, snapping at me and the like, which means that when mum pulls him up on it, he gets antzy and even worse. Because of his daughter, being a 6yo, he automatically assumes that the same methods would work on, and be appropriate for myself. It's frustrating you know? To be seen as a child, when you're almost an adult, legally, yet you know, in your entire body, that when you gain your majority they're going to treat you exactly the same?
Oh, and you know how I want to go travelling or whatever after school finishes? Mother dearest has somehow contrived that into being an insult against -her-, that I don't care about what she does etc, fair enough I don't, but I would have moved out at the end of school anyways, whether or not we got along better. I'd been planning it since I was about ....12 or so and the end of my school years was looming dangerously close on the horizon.
Mother dearest thinks that because I havent given her the details of exactly -how- I am going to acheive this, she thinks that I'm not going to. But I am damnit, I -am- going to travel, I -am- going to leave her house, and I -am- going to live on my own.
If all else fails, I'll live on a uni campus or something, it shouldn't cost too much extra, since my uni fees ought to be getting paid out in a couple years anyways, from a trust fund my parents started paying when I was like, two.
So yeah, there we go. An update of what has been going on in my life, not that it's terribly exciting, but bleh. Oh, and I have been semi-invited to a couple parties over the holidays, i doubt it will come to pass as the girl who invited me has absolutely no way of contacting me outside school. Figures eh?
Friday 6 July 2007
The Frost.
At dawn, after a bitter cold night
Silver crystal is what you see.
The sun, it does have a fight
to get the frost to flee.
The bitter cold wind will blow
to freeze the icy tear,
like water, it does flow
with the shivering of fear.
On the brittle, stiff grass,
a silver glittering shroud;
everything glinting like glass
a silver, spikey cloud.
Little frozen drops of dew,
coating each and every leaf.
And if greenery is too few,
grin, and it'll coat your teeth.
Ghostly plumes of air do float
way up into the sky,
drifting over the rocking boat,
floating away so high.
The sky that is so blue
and yet bitterly cold,
reflected in a drop of dew
collected in a crease or fold.
Standing, shivering in the dawn,
seeing the sun come creeping
and the frost to lose it's form,
will slowly still the weeping.
Don't growl at me, I wrote that a couple years ago, when I was ...about 14 I think. One of my earlier poems and not the standard that I usually have now in regards to my poetry. That wasn't today by the way, wasn't quite cold enough for the frost to be still visible when I was waiting for my bus, but on that day, it was. It looked almost like snow, except much...thinner, and more dirty since you can see the dead grass and the brown dirt through the frozen water.
I wonder if you'll pick up on the undertones of that poem? Most only see the brighter tones, the beauty I'm describing in the cold morning. Story of my childhood, you could say. Cold beauty yet...
Silver crystal is what you see.
The sun, it does have a fight
to get the frost to flee.
The bitter cold wind will blow
to freeze the icy tear,
like water, it does flow
with the shivering of fear.
On the brittle, stiff grass,
a silver glittering shroud;
everything glinting like glass
a silver, spikey cloud.
Little frozen drops of dew,
coating each and every leaf.
And if greenery is too few,
grin, and it'll coat your teeth.
Ghostly plumes of air do float
way up into the sky,
drifting over the rocking boat,
floating away so high.
The sky that is so blue
and yet bitterly cold,
reflected in a drop of dew
collected in a crease or fold.
Standing, shivering in the dawn,
seeing the sun come creeping
and the frost to lose it's form,
will slowly still the weeping.
Don't growl at me, I wrote that a couple years ago, when I was ...about 14 I think. One of my earlier poems and not the standard that I usually have now in regards to my poetry. That wasn't today by the way, wasn't quite cold enough for the frost to be still visible when I was waiting for my bus, but on that day, it was. It looked almost like snow, except much...thinner, and more dirty since you can see the dead grass and the brown dirt through the frozen water.
I wonder if you'll pick up on the undertones of that poem? Most only see the brighter tones, the beauty I'm describing in the cold morning. Story of my childhood, you could say. Cold beauty yet...
Thursday 5 July 2007
How sweet I roamed from field to field
How sweet I roamed from field to field,
And tasted all the summer's pride,
Till I the prince of love beheld,
Who in the sunny beams did glide!
He showed me lilies for my hair,
And blushing roses for my brow;
He led me through his gardens fair,
Where all his golden pleasures grow.
With sweet May dews my wings were wet,
and Phoebus fired my vocal rage;
He caught me in his silken net,
and shut me in his golden cage.
He loves to sit and hear me sing,
Then, laughing, sports and plays with me;
Then stretches out my golden wing,
And mocks my loss of liberty.
William Blake
One of my favourite poems by Blake, actually. I used it in the final exams last year, because it was the only poem I could recall, and be confident in my quoting...except for the little factor that I forgot what it was called XD Not like you need the name of the poem...just the lines, and the poet >_>
But I do like it, oddly enough, I can relate to the persona...no, don't look at me like that. I'm not THAT nuts.
And that is the summation of my thoughts for today...since I didn't get much sleep last night because of a dream I can't remember so i can't complain about it. But I feel like I've run for ages.
And tasted all the summer's pride,
Till I the prince of love beheld,
Who in the sunny beams did glide!
He showed me lilies for my hair,
And blushing roses for my brow;
He led me through his gardens fair,
Where all his golden pleasures grow.
With sweet May dews my wings were wet,
and Phoebus fired my vocal rage;
He caught me in his silken net,
and shut me in his golden cage.
He loves to sit and hear me sing,
Then, laughing, sports and plays with me;
Then stretches out my golden wing,
And mocks my loss of liberty.
William Blake
One of my favourite poems by Blake, actually. I used it in the final exams last year, because it was the only poem I could recall, and be confident in my quoting...except for the little factor that I forgot what it was called XD Not like you need the name of the poem...just the lines, and the poet >_>
But I do like it, oddly enough, I can relate to the persona...no, don't look at me like that. I'm not THAT nuts.
And that is the summation of my thoughts for today...since I didn't get much sleep last night because of a dream I can't remember so i can't complain about it. But I feel like I've run for ages.
Wednesday 4 July 2007
Kittties!
When lacking coherent thought, smother the masses with kitten kyuteness.
Oh, and I got 84% in a math test ^_^ which is good, considering that I have been failing maths recently.
UR NOZE
put in more quarters!
monorailcat 2.0
Oh, and I got 84% in a math test ^_^ which is good, considering that I have been failing maths recently.
UR NOZE
put in more quarters!
monorailcat 2.0
Tuesday 3 July 2007
Storm
Silent, still, yet the ominous rumble of thunder
sounds in the distance.
Birds, crows, animals stand still and wait;
ears pricked for the sullen grumble.
A heavy, oppressive anticipation fills the air,
a flicker of light--
and then a crack! sending the creatures
scurrying, flapping, screaming for cover.
Silence reigns once more as the unseen
breath is held, anticipating.
And then, with a sharp, violent shcrrap!
the skies break open.
Heavy, fat drops of thunder born rain
cascade down, a bucket upending.
Overbearing water beating the earth
with merciless blows.
Heavier, fiercer, more violent come the blows
raining on the tender earth.
Then, a reprieve, the blows lighten,
the rain, it eases, and stops.
Silence, stillness, yet a steady drip of water
plopping onto the abused earth.
Eyes peer cautiously out, watching, waiting;
a low, sullen rumble sounds.
I wrote this a couple months ago now, in Math during a summer storm, it was rather nice actually.
sounds in the distance.
Birds, crows, animals stand still and wait;
ears pricked for the sullen grumble.
A heavy, oppressive anticipation fills the air,
a flicker of light--
and then a crack! sending the creatures
scurrying, flapping, screaming for cover.
Silence reigns once more as the unseen
breath is held, anticipating.
And then, with a sharp, violent shcrrap!
the skies break open.
Heavy, fat drops of thunder born rain
cascade down, a bucket upending.
Overbearing water beating the earth
with merciless blows.
Heavier, fiercer, more violent come the blows
raining on the tender earth.
Then, a reprieve, the blows lighten,
the rain, it eases, and stops.
Silence, stillness, yet a steady drip of water
plopping onto the abused earth.
Eyes peer cautiously out, watching, waiting;
a low, sullen rumble sounds.
I wrote this a couple months ago now, in Math during a summer storm, it was rather nice actually.
Monday 2 July 2007
Dreaming
Yes, I had another dream...and this one was disturbing, even for me! Although it was rather simple, and short compared to some of my other dreams that is.
It started with me sitting at a vanity, you know the sort of thing, where there are drawers and a mirror and make-up and things? I glance up at my face in the mirror, but I don't look like myself, not exactly, it's like...a slight shift in my perceptions, as though I was looking at an ancestor, or a decendant or something, someone that looked like me, but -wasn't- me. That was bad enough, but then I picked up a blush brush (for the males reading this, it's a big, fluffy brush that women use to put blush- a tint powder thing- on their cheeks to colour them) and twirled it, brushing it over my face.
Bits of my face fell from the brush, like fine powder, my eyes were closed as I was doing this, so as to not get the bits of me in my eyes. My entire face brushed, I got a cloth and wiped the remaining little pieces away. I looked even less like the me I see in the mirror, it was more...ethreal, unearthly, yet captivating...haunting but not in a scary way you know? Haunting in a....dare I say it? In an oddly beautiful way...but an otherworldly way. The way that a siren would have been beautiful, if that helps any.
My face 'clean' I turned the brush to my arms and twirled it over my skin, dusting away. My skin flaked away like fine scales to fall to the floor as I methodically cleaned first one arm, and then the other of the dusting, the layer over who I really was. A reddish gold showed through the paleness of what my skin usually is (Seriously, I don't tan) the colour of rose gold, for the hue. Gold, but with a sheen of the palest red.
I again wiped away the final flakes with the cloth, my arms, neck, face bare of the artifice before I stood, and in turning from the dark wood of the beuro (sp?) the dream faded, but peacefully. Like the exhalation of a pleased sigh.
Very...odd. To say the least.
It started with me sitting at a vanity, you know the sort of thing, where there are drawers and a mirror and make-up and things? I glance up at my face in the mirror, but I don't look like myself, not exactly, it's like...a slight shift in my perceptions, as though I was looking at an ancestor, or a decendant or something, someone that looked like me, but -wasn't- me. That was bad enough, but then I picked up a blush brush (for the males reading this, it's a big, fluffy brush that women use to put blush- a tint powder thing- on their cheeks to colour them) and twirled it, brushing it over my face.
Bits of my face fell from the brush, like fine powder, my eyes were closed as I was doing this, so as to not get the bits of me in my eyes. My entire face brushed, I got a cloth and wiped the remaining little pieces away. I looked even less like the me I see in the mirror, it was more...ethreal, unearthly, yet captivating...haunting but not in a scary way you know? Haunting in a....dare I say it? In an oddly beautiful way...but an otherworldly way. The way that a siren would have been beautiful, if that helps any.
My face 'clean' I turned the brush to my arms and twirled it over my skin, dusting away. My skin flaked away like fine scales to fall to the floor as I methodically cleaned first one arm, and then the other of the dusting, the layer over who I really was. A reddish gold showed through the paleness of what my skin usually is (Seriously, I don't tan) the colour of rose gold, for the hue. Gold, but with a sheen of the palest red.
I again wiped away the final flakes with the cloth, my arms, neck, face bare of the artifice before I stood, and in turning from the dark wood of the beuro (sp?) the dream faded, but peacefully. Like the exhalation of a pleased sigh.
Very...odd. To say the least.
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